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kdqz_ibcas
27 November 2013 @ 12:53 pm
Welcome!

If you haven't already read my profile, I'll introduce me again.

Hello there!
Who: My name is Kelly , and I a student in Gr11 IB.
What: This blog is created to blog my days doing CAS.
Where: Here, everywhere. Wherever volunteering takes me.
When: My IB years.
Why: Because not only is it required for CAS, I also would like to be dedicated to something.

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Current Location: TCCSA
 
 
kdqz_ibcas
26 April 2012 @ 02:07 am
#55.  
And you can already count, you could already count a while ago when this day would come. Countdowns to summer had begun long ago. But perhaps in longing for the end, your real insights finally broke through. 
You had forgotten to remember the end. Ultimately summer is the goal, yes? No more exams, free of everything that binds us to IB. Yet, I'll miss it. 

And that is right now. 


Suddenly 
You don't know 
when 
it hit;
but you 
realize it now. 
Admist this 
and that &
him & her. 
you, i, we...
admist life's 
chaos, 
the calm before the storm
has arrived. 
And suddenly, 
you feel  
insignificant, quiet small,
microscopic, 
unimportant. 
Forgotten perhaps, 
or just 
alone, loneliness
wraps around you
tightly like a blanket. 


I being an emotional person, one who tears up easily at the thought of departure and goodbyes hate days like this. Where you countdown to the moments when you don't sit in this classroom anymore. Through the ups and downs, all the rides here and there, 
it just passed by way too fast. Looking back, you can't really remember any moments, yet there were. 

From late nights up, to late nights at school. From no sleep, to 6:30 am for school. From September to now. From each assignment, test, essay, mock exam till May 2nd. But then from then on, from May18th on.....? 
I don't know, this uncertainty, scares me. Tears can already fall. 

I don't wish for time to stop, nor accelerate. Slow down, no sir, for the impending 16days of doom I wish to pass by quick. Kill me quickly, don't drag out death. 
But why do I feel like this then? 

I don't know, 
I'll never know. 
I just know that its an end. 
Not an And...
It will be the end. 
 
 
kdqz_ibcas
16 April 2012 @ 11:36 pm
#54.  
Listening to old DBSK songs, AKTF? yes. always. 

Doushite, Stand by U, Forever Love. Tears form perhaps. But instead of tears, i created this .

Musical Memories

Things are moving fast now, 
like a snowball down a mountain, 
you gain momentum,
can't stop now. 
Stop, stop, HALT! 
but on you go
onwards to the new day
wish all you want and fail. 
Moving forward yet 
looking backwards. 
Moving farther away, still
digging into the past. 
Thinking to the past, 
it wasn't the people 
the events and moments
but the music that had stuck. 
Music of each era, 
different stages, evoking 
emotions the same even 
to this day I remember. 
Perhaps sound is all 
that will remain. Photographs 
fade away, people
move away, all are but 
ephermal objects.  Sound,
melody, harmony, is
interminable and everlasting, 
music will stay with you. 
 
 
kdqz_ibcas
28 March 2012 @ 08:43 pm
#53  
Extras 
feeling poetic in my state of depression and sadness. 

Frantic State of Mind

The ground beneath us is crumbling. 
Hold on tight because we're falling. 
The road before us is fogging, 
what we know, we don't know anymore. 

Day after day, we're waiting. 
And night after night, we're losing, 
hope we wish for, but we have nothing. 
Frantic we grasp for any safety. 

Hopeless in self, we go on moping. 
Because of no hope, we stop trying. 
Why try if tried hasn't been working
so what do we do, what happens now? 

Sliver of hope, silver lining in the cloud...
come closer, and save me from myself. 
Life is certain, but only time can tell.
Tags: , ,
 
 
kdqz_ibcas
18 March 2012 @ 11:37 pm
#52.  

I think this poem is very fitting for #52. This is the parody poem i wrote for the ETS assignment. Its a parody of Jason Mraz's I Won't Give Up.
I wrote this after I had finished writing my first draft of EE. It was quite an accomplishment. :) 

ENJOY!





I Can’t Give Up


When I look at the IB
All I'm seeing's the EE
And the dreaded T-OK
(Oh) There's so much to do

(And) Just like them IAs
The workload just keeps pi-ling 
Deadlines the 21st
How much is there left?

(Oh) I won't be stopping now 
Even if my sleep runs low
I'm getting me all those 7
I'm still staying up

(And) When you need to do World Lits

You wish you had been listening.
February's quickly approaching
Drink up the caffeine… 

Cause even the best fall down 
Some even fail math tests 
We've got a lot to learn 
I hope this is worth it
No I can't give up.

I don't want to be someone who drops this program so easily
I'm here to stay and show that CAS is do-able
The syllabus they do a lot to teach us what to learn
When desperation at a high yeah, there's too much know 

And in the end, all I've got is just this piece of paper this IB diploma,

I tried so hard, did so much.
I had to learn all this math, integration really sucks; 
I had to do portfolios, two in all.
Oh what the heck!

I can't do this anymore
My energy's at a low 
I've given it all my time 
But it still won't end.
Still it won't end 


But I can't give up no more (no it's too late to drop)
I know I'm tough enough (I hope I tough it out)
We've got a lot at stake (we're alive, we learn on)
I know this is worth it (this better be worth it)

I can't give up on this
No I can’t be sleeping now.
I'm giving it one last try
IB has to

End.

 
 
 
kdqz_ibcas
18 March 2012 @ 10:20 pm
#51.  
happy valentines day. a bit late but was written around that time (:

I want to hug you,
get the energy I lack.
I want to see you, 
put a smile on my face. 
I want to hear you, 
let's calm my heart. 

One though that I lack,
One word that's to be said,
One smile is all I need.

Oh how I miss you so,
What lies between us
Distance yes but no.
Its these pressures, 
expectations 
to keep us 
apart, from one another. 
 
 
kdqz_ibcas
18 March 2012 @ 10:17 pm
#50  
Written sometime in February. 
During my walk to work. 
Inspired by English Class.

Begin, and End.

"to have life, 
one must live.
if you're in hell, 
ask for help.
show your fears,
through your tears.
taking your last breath,
is what comes before death.
life's one long test,
don't hesitate to give it your best"
 
 
kdqz_ibcas
18 March 2012 @ 10:12 pm
#49.  
Written November 22. 

Sad.. sad.. poem :) Oh the memories behind the times...


Goodbye. 

Look in the mirror,
Bloodshot eyes,
Drunk with tears.
The blotched face, 
worn with streaks,
And much too pale.
It's been days since sunlight.
Cherry red nose,
As the tissues pile on. 

Stare at the reflection, 
In This wretched state,
She comes to an understanding.
Through the layers of despair, 
Determination shines through.
She's had it with this life,
And tonight would be the start. 

Her life lies before her, 
Clean slate on this paper.
Using pen, it's for sure. 
She knows it's wrong, 
But it's too late.
Her hearts set. 
No time for ink, 
As tears start welling.
This time it's the last time.
White becomes stained,
Droplets of tears,
Shedding the past before the new,
The pain before moving on.
So she writes.
A slew of sorries,
For those already disappointed,
And for the tears to come. 
Endless thanks to each smile,
Every laugh, all the warmth
She's ever had. 
It's getting harder to write, 
She can't see the page,
But it's already too damp.
One last message, 
She rips her heart out.
Here it lies on the page,
Beating with life 
For the one she loves.
The words she writes
Of joy, thanks and grief,
For everything.

Last dying breath, 
This life is leaving her. 
Finally she sees the sunlight,
The warmth on her face.
In ink she signs,
Her name once and never more.
Drip, drip drip,
Every last drop.
Goodbye she says,
One final tear shed. 


It's not meant to be morbid. But read it however you want. It all depends on what is dripping at the end no? 
 
 
kdqz_ibcas
18 March 2012 @ 10:00 pm
#48.  

Written in a spur,during math class. 

Dated November 30th

Fail.

4 letter word,
Short but deadly.
Incompetency,
Weakness,
Misery...

Falling, 
Fear,
Uselessness.

Menacing voices,
The word pierces through,
Unable to fight back.

Wounded at the core.
Nothingness,
Disappointment. 
Along,
Despair,
Unfinished.

Pointless aim, 
Fade away, 
Ending,
Never ending. 
Incomplete.

 
 
kdqz_ibcas
18 March 2012 @ 09:55 pm
Procrastination at its finest? 

So this is what happened...

I have 8 poems left till 52...
but as November came to an end 
and December rolled along, 
I found myself in a pinch. 

Labs and after labs, 
Oh and lets squish in
yet another test. 
No problem right? 

Oh wait? What's that...
the math exam? 
I'm moving...? 
Lets pack? 

Whirlwind of things 
to do, 
places 
to go. 
But time is never on your side. 

One by one, 
week by week, 
poems were forgotten.
Work begun to pile
higher and higher
and this blog? 
Drowned underneath it all. 

So what...
is this tired out student saying? 
Poems once more 
she shall write. 
Pen down words
words
words
word after word. 
Only 8 more to go right? 
No, 7. 

Strive for the golden 7.